With Love From Shay Savage’s Ehd and Bastian

With Love From Shay Savage’s Ehd and Bastian

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Transcendence: A Love Letter

By Shay Savage

Dear Beh,

I took a bath. Can I put a baby in you now?

Here’s a fish!



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Surviving Raine: A Love Letter

By Shay Savage


Dear Raine,

It’s four in the morning, and I can’t sleep. I’ve been watching you and thinking about how you looked when we were still on that island. It has only been a couple of weeks, but it already feels surreal, as if it didn’t really happen, even though I remember it all. You were so beautiful lying there on the floor of that little shelter I built, all curled up underneath me. I’d just stare at you for hours and watch the moonlight through the cracks in the shelter walls as it touched your cheek. I’d think about the next day and what I’d have to do to make sure you were safe and comfortable. At the time, it would stress me out, but now…well, everything is different now.

I wish we were back there. I wish we were back on that island where I had nothing more to think about than protecting you. I don’t know how to make this work back in civilization. Everywhere I turn, there’s something to set me off. There are so many people here in Miami, and so many of them recognize us as the castaway couple. The feeling of claustrophobia haunts me. We can’t even go out to dinner without being pinned by a crowd. Of course, half of that crowd is men, and I swear every one of them is staring at you. I want to fucking kill them when they do that. It takes nearly every ounce of self-control I possess to keep myself in check.

Nearly every ounce. That doesn’t leave much for any other form of control.

I have the shakes right now as I write this. There’s a bar just down the street from our condo, and I keep finding myself looking at it. I haven’t gone inside. I think if I do, it will only be a matter of time before I crack.

I’m not strong like you. I know you think I am, but I’m not. Even as you sleep, I can see the strength in you. You have to be strong to put up with my bullshit. I honestly don’t know how you do it, and part of me still thinks you are going to get tired of putting up with me and leave. I wouldn’t blame you if you did though I think it would kill me. I can only hope you know how much you mean to me, and that no matter what happens in the coming months, I will do my best not to fuck it up. There are going to be days when I’ll fail, but maybe I’ll learn something from them and be better the next day. Maybe if I keep trying, I’ll eventually feel like I’m someone who deserves you.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with this letter or if you’ll ever find it and read it. I doubt I’ve managed to express what I really want you to understand. You are everything to me, Raine. Before you, I didn’t have a reason to do anything…to be anything. You have given me purpose in life, and there’s nothing I will ever be able to do to make us even. I struggle with what kind of a man I am versus what kind of a man I need to be for you. I want to figure it out. I want to be everything you need me to be as you are for me.

I want to go to sleep knowing I haven’t done anything stupid to piss you off. I want to always wake up with you beside me. I want to spend my days coming up with new and better ways to make you happy. You are the reason I feel lighter than I ever have in my life. You are my world, and you are my salvation.

I love you.


Buy The Book 1

SURVIVING RAINE – Surviving Raine Book 1


Bastian’s Storm: Surviving Raine Book 2




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